For When You Came

Before
I'm not sure what there
was
but it most certainly
wasn't love,
wasn't burning for every
waking moment
to become an 
indestructible memory,
wasn't the ecstasy
the guessing
the utter and complete
unraveling,
wasn't the mana that
would revive me,
then kill me
and birth me to bleed
again,
wasn't the nights spent
wondering
how could this have 
manifest,
wasn't the car rides
wearing water
when all I had were sobs
and tears,
wasn't' the morning you
said yes
before you ever knew my name
for "before" was meant so
I 
could love you when you 
came.