No one really knows
what they're getting into
when they decide to go
to medical school.
Barely adults,
asymptotically perfect,
we all come climbing
what will always be
society's ladders.
In search of the pinnacle
of solace
we write personal
statements about the
grandeur of healing,
about understanding the
intricacies of the human design,
about tempting fate
and playing God
without admitting
we are human too.
What did you think in
your first lecture
when you realized all
170 people in the room
didn't know the answer?
What do you feel after
your first test
when the screen only told you
you were 68% perfect?
What did you do when
the truth came crashing
down
that you were not in Kansas?
I wish I could say our
medical schools
make more doctors
than they make patients,
but perhaps it takes
being broken
to ever truly learn
that we are all just here
to heal.

The moon fell fast asleep
As we gazed into its glow
Deciding she would like
To see where dreamers
go

But the stars were not so
keen
To be left there all alone
Knowing night would 
soon grow dark
Without the rock they
called their stone

For the moon had been
their life
A mother to them all
A lot but loving 
presence
For all things big and 
small

For the moon could see
the truth
Within the vast old Milky
Way 
That the sun was not the
one
Giving light to make the 
day

For the stars and their
reflection
were actually behind the
ray
That would find the 
hearts of humans
And show us how to pray

For all the things now
Shining
Beyond the great divide
Where dreamers went to live
And darkness went to 
​hide

The woman
in the wrinkled teal scrubs
and dripping mascara
talks to me through
whispers
cascading through the
ether
on their own heroes
journey.
The whispers, themselves
alive
just trying to find their 
way home
between my arms
and into my heart
so they can finally speak
and sing the harmony
my desperate ears
and wandering mind
only now,
years later
would know
as the birth
​of love

Before
I'm not sure what there
was
but it most certainly
wasn't love,
wasn't burning for every
waking moment
to become an 
indestructible memory,
wasn't the ecstasy
the guessing
the utter and complete
unraveling,
wasn't the mana that
would revive me,
then kill me
and birth me to bleed
again,
wasn't the nights spent
wondering
how could this have 
manifest,
wasn't the car rides
wearing water
when all I had were sobs
and tears,
wasn't' the morning you
said yes
before you ever knew my name
for "before" was meant so
I 
could love you when you 
came.

The sunlight splashed
Upon your cheek
Illuminating a truth
I had yet to behold
For bathed in light
And birthed by warmth
Was the smile of an 
angel
Descended from stars
And forged by flames
Sent from He
Who has given us love
That had overwhelmed 
my heart
And entered my soul
Carrying me to this
present moment
Where time would sleep
And my spirit would
wake
As sunlight splashed
Upon your cheek  

I'm sorry I say
over 
and over again.
I can't stop apologizing
for the things I have done,
haven't done,
won't do
will forget to do,
will eventually do,
was destined to do,
yet all she says is 
Stop
Stop
Stop.
I stare into the books of 
her eyes,
the story of her life
written in a spiral
inside the stormy iris,
clouded by the mistakes
she made.
I made,
we all made
on this tiny little Earth,
in this tiny little galaxy
in this tiny little universe
inside the stormy iris
of a God
who perhaps
can make mistakes
​too. 

That afternoon
On the fifth floor
When I forgot what it 
Meant to be
Afraid,
And you let me see
What you had spent
Your entire life
Trying to hide from the 
World,
I wept with your tears
As if I had always been
Inside of you,
Tucked away
In a space
That even you could not
Destroy.
For yes,
Despite my belief in the 
Search,
And the courageously laid 
Out
Plan,
There would be no finding what could never be lost
Only a revealing 
Of the love
You had saved
For me

I walked miles around
Writer's block
Only to find myself
Surrounded by the 
Swooners
Who waxed poetic 
Lost to the truth
That there were already
3 words to say
I love you