I realized last week, after reading over my post on symptoms, that besides having its standard amount of “invisible typos” and poor grammar, the article contained a statement that was rather incongruent with my beliefs. Luckily, thanks to the beauty of technology, I was able to amend this sentence so that I was no longer cringing with visceral anxiety. Interestingly, this incongruent statement did not induce the same “cringe” that usually follows the discovery of my grammatically poor sentences or ridiculous typos. That reaction has actually become rather comical, benign and induces a thought akin to “That’s about right,” followed by a few laughs.
This incongruent statement, however, was not so benign, not so comical, not so friendly. What followed my visual perception and internalization of the statement was an immediate repulsion, an immediate sense of falseness, a deeper knowing that these words were not in alignment with my spiritual nature and more importantly just not true.
You are probably wondering “Are you going to tell us the sentence already?”
Yes, I will, just be patient, for as you will see, it is not really the content of the statement or the implications of its meaning that is important, it’s the innate and deep recognition that something was incongruent with my spiritual self in the first place.
I wish I could describe the feeling more to you, but as I mentioned earlier, it was akin to an intuitive knowing, a gut churning no, a slight energetic imbalance, a cognitive pin prick.
This recognition of an incongruence will be different for everyone. Perhaps you have experienced such phenomenon as I have described above, or you have had quite different “manifestations” of knowing when something just wasn’t right with your being. Wherever you stand and whatever you believe with regards to such “signals of incongruence”, it is critical to recognize two things.
1. We must cultivate stillness to discover “signals of incongruence.”
2. “Signals of incongruence” will be variable and unique to the individual.
I will call these my two key tenets to the Theory of Incongruence. Just as I laid out some key tenets to my Theory of Symptom Manifestation, these are the fundamental principles behind acknowledging and recognizing the “signals of incongruence.” What we do with such signals is an entirely separate discussion, so I simply want to emphasize the importance of these two key principles in this article.
So you are about to tell us your incongruent statement, right?
Yes, but one last point.
“Signals of Incongruence” may not appear to you overnight, or manifest in strong emotional reactions, but you must trust that they are there, in whatever subtle, “silent” or hidden way, they are there. Start with belief, cultivate stillness and just begin to notice, without judgment, without attachment, without really knowing.
Just start there.
So the statement you ask, one last time?
It just so happened to be the finale to the entire post:
I wish I could tell you, but alas I am and will never be “You.”
Yes, that was just a little bit off. Okay it was a pretty big whiff. But why did I overlook this or even generate this thought when I wrote the post?
I cannot really say, but I can speculate that I was trying to emphasize the point of individuality in our symptoms and their manifestations, a very similar point actually, to the one I am making today about “signals of incongruence,” and I would argue that symptoms are on the same spectrum as “signals of incongruence,” however, symptoms are generally more severe, longer lasting, and are usually generated from fundamentally different root causes and for different reasons.
Back to the statement: I wish I could tell you, but alas I am and will never be “You.”
As some of you may have already read in our weekly newsletter: A Week of Compassion, this concept of what is you and what is me, is a little more complex than the objective mind may want to believe. Suffice to say, my soul recognizes and knows what APPEARS to be me, and PERCEIVES a reality of distinction between objects, but the truth is we are actually nothing without the distinction, you aren’t anything without me, I am nothing without you, we are both the distinction. And if we are both the distinction, then aren’t we really just the same?
Oh, and one last thing before we go, perhaps a key distinction between symptoms and “signals of incongruence;” while I believe we have control (unconscious or conscious) over symptom manifestation, there is no such thing when it comes to “signals of incongruence.” When it comes to your “signals of incongruence," you must learn to gently understand and genuinely appreciate “the cards” you were dealt
So, if we can’t choose how we notice the incongruences in our lives what can we do?
Simple: cultivate stillness and let the cards reveal themselves as the hand is played out.
For those who did not see our message in the weekly newsletter I’ve added my reflections regarding the “you and me” distinction to the end of this post with a link to the rest of the newsletter.
I hope you have a joyful week!
May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you forever be at peace.
Go to the Newsletter
A WEEK OF COMPASSION, May 7th, 2017
What is mine is yours and yours is mine?
What exactly does this even mean?
Perhaps these words, often shared in the context of possessions, wealth, or objects in general, actually resonate at a level much deeper than what the phrase usually implies. What if, we changed the words ever so slightly to uncover an “invisible” meaning? What is me is you and you is me? Incorrect grammar aside, what this message holds is the truth (as Thich Nhat Hanh believes it) that we “inter-are.” For as we see it, there is no you AND me, only you WITH me, or you IN me. We are RELATIONAL BEINGS, not SINGULAR DOINGS, and as such, we can only hope to describe our existence, our intentions, our place in the universe as a poetic series of dynamic interactions. Energy interacting with Energy. We simply cannot exist without the presence of the “wholly YOU”, yet entirely “not-YOU.” A Paradox or “Quantum You” anyone?
Stepping away from the possibly philosophical, I return to share one final thought: When you genuinely share YOUR gifts and stories with others, they can no longer be YOUR gifts and stories, for they have chosen a new set of clothes, a new quantum state, a place where they can only be “OURS.” Until, of course, you ask that silly little question, where did “OURs” actually come from anyway?
Here’s to you, here’s to us.