How to Love Our Enemies: A Path of Nonviolence

To put it simply, this weekend in Charlottesville, Virginia was terrifying.

Being fairly removed from most public news, choosing to forgo TV and traditional news outlets in order to preserve my sanity, I wasn’t prepared for what I walked into Saturday morning in the streets of the town I call my home.

As I parked and walked along the downtown mall, with the hopes of seeing my friends at our local farmer’s market, I was hit with an unwelcome wave of negativity and confusion. One scan of the surrounding area revealed people dressed in all sorts of strange clothing, carrying posters and displaying various instruments, flags, and other memorabilia I didn’t fully understand. Something was happening and my heart was confused, aching and hurt. Turning the corner from the downtown walk, I soon discovered that there was no farmer’s market, not a single tent, none of the familiar faces I had come to love and know as family.

Suddenly, with only mere seconds of warning I was drawn to a crowd, screaming and running for what appeared to be their lives. It was chaos.

Still somewhat removed from this disturbing commotion I started running back to my car, parked at the local family medicine clinic I had known to be a place of healing, of acceptance, of love.

As I got into into my car, my eyes were drowning, ready to close and process what they just saw.

Keeping my eyes closed, I fled from these disturbing images and I prayed like I had never prayed before.

God I know not what evil and hate is happening now, but may you protect all those wishing to stand for peace and drive away those confused with intentions to hurt.

Racing away, I drove back home to my girlfriend’s apartment.

But, before I could even begin a conversation, my eyes were directed to a cell phone screen, watching a video showing violence breaking out in the streets I had previously walked upon in peace for so many years. The video then turned quickly to utter horror as it showed a car driving head on into a crowd of civilians.

I didn’t know what to think.

This was happening in Charlottesville.

My home.

Who were these harbingers of hate, these white supremacists rallying to “Unite the Right”?

And who were these counter-protesters?

Why was there so much anger? So much hatred?

I stopped and hugged my girlfriend. Holding her with every ounce of love remaining in my heart.

The two of us, an inter-racial couple trained as physicians to be healers of the physical form, were now being called to be healers of a brokenness nowhere to be found in any medical textbook.

Silent, just resting in each other’s being we didn’t need to use words to say what was in our hearts.

What does the moment require of us right now baby?

Without hesitation, looking into each other’s eyes, we grasped hands and started to pray.

Silent, in meditation, we breathed to pray, and prayed to breath.

On the surface,

I, a white Christian man

She, a black, spiritually unifying woman

Just meditating, praying, and asking for peace.


What the white supremacists stood for was hatred and evil.

They as people, however, were not hatred, they were not evil.

They were just people, confused, and emotionally disturbed people.

What the counter protestors stood for was unclear, but what ensued in their presence was only more hurt, anger, and unintentional hatred.

They as people, however, were not hatred, they were not evil.

They were just people, trying to defend values they held dear.
Both just people trying the best they could with their current understanding to defend their values and beliefs.

Despite traditional thinking otherwise, we are not actually our words, we are not even our actions.

We are simply people blessed with the freedom of choice, capable of love, and capable of hate.

We are people, not actions, not words, just people.

Pondering further, escaping the chaos of the present moment I wondered:

What if no one showed up for the supremacist’s march? What if we had all simply stayed home, and went about our normal, joyful day, pausing to pray for those confused and in need?

Or better yet, what if we had walked, jogged and played in our city without passing a second glance at those matching for hate?

To me non-violence is not a path of ignorance or turning a blind eye to hate, but one of stripping hate of its weapons, leaving all those carrying such hurt naked and bare of their power to generate fear, create violence. and hurt beyond measure.

Ask any mother what is the best way to defuse a child’s temper tantrum gone off the rails?

Do not engage the child.

Let them yell, let them scream, let the emotion flow.

But do not engage what cannot be engaged.

We are not slaves to fear.

We are not slaves to hurt.

We all have the choice to stand for love, and unfortunately this weekend, many stood for hatred, and some inadvertently engaged an evil, giving it precisely the weapons and control it desired.

I have many friends who disagree with my stance of non-violence, of non-engagement, of staying home to meditate, to pray, but I also have many friends who did precisely as I did, holding safe spaces for prayer as the evil went marching.
They are all my friends. All truly amazing people standing for shared values of compassion, inclusion and acceptance. They all have my love.

For love you see is all we really have.

Going forward, my girlfriend and I will continue meditating and praying for healing so that the confused and hurting hearts can be filled with love, so that those hurt in the violence can hopefully be healed from these acts of misunderstood hate and so that there can finally be peace.


A black woman and white man.

We, as two human beings

In love

Without fear

Seeking to share our love

With all those open to receive it.

For as the great Martin Luther King Jr most eloquently professed,

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Love we will Dr. King.

Love we most certainly will.

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